“I have got interested in photography a few years ago, when I often took pictures of my friends and regularly tried self-portraits. One year, I went to live in Dublin, and it was there that I started to take more intimistic self-portraits : the distance emancipated me from the judgment of my relatives and friends, I felt much freer , because Irish people do not have the same vision of the body as French people do.
I have irritable bowel syndrome, and partly because of that I never really liked my body… This disease prevents me from going out, studying normally or even working. So I naturally wanted and needed to feel that I existed somewhere, that people find me beautiful and watch me differently than just a sick woman. That’s why I started to post my self-portraits on Instagram, it was my way to go out.
I don’t consider myself as a model, I hardly ever work with photographers and almost all of my pictures are self-portraits : I don’t want to show my body in its current state to a photographer. I know my body better than anyone and that’s why I chose self-portraits, so I can show what I want to show and hide what I don’t like. I’m lucky to have a bright apartment, I work with the cutouts of the light on my body, and I take all photos with my iPhone, setting a self-timer. It can take a lot of unsuccessful tries before I get to a result I like.
I’m very attached to feminism, but showing my body has never been a claim and has nothing to deal with my ideas. I touch up my body to hide my marks, I look for beauty and aesthetics in my photos, not to send a message of “body positive”. It’s only my way to deal with my body, to feel beautiful and free.”
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